Date: July 11, 2025
🦸 Correctional Exercise Medley
The software side of Challenger
🎤 Coach Paul:
Welcome back, athletes! This Friday, we’re introducing the Correctional Exercise Medley — a 24-minute, station-based core and stability workout designed to fine-tune your “software,” build resilient joints, and make your abs question their life choices (in a good way).
🦹 Dr. DOMS (Diabolical Overlord of Muscle Soreness):
Absurd! What’s the point of a workout if people don’t collapse in existential agony afterward? Where are the endless burpees? The surprise sled pushes? The near-death sandbag carries?
🎤 Coach Paul:
Easy there, villain. This week’s lineup is meant to reinforce good patterns:
- Pallof Press or Rotational Twist — anti-rotation mastery.
- Dumbbell Side Bend — obliques on fire (but in a friendly, supportive way).
- Dumbbell Step Up — unilateral leg strength and hip stability.
- Dumbbell Lateral Raise — sculpt those shoulders without selling your soul to impingement.
- Star Toe Touch — balance, mobility, and humble pie all in one.
🦹 Dr. DOMS:
You wound me! How dare you create a workout that leaves people… functional! I want chaos, I want hobbling, I want them to curse stairs for days!
🎤 Coach Paul:
Sorry, doc. This one’s about prehab, not pure punishment. You know, the “software update” to keep the hardware running smoothly.
🦹 Dr. DOMS:
I can’t tolerate this heresy. Let me illustrate your failure with my Evilness Workout Scoring Table:
🩸 Evilness Workout Scoring Table
| Exercise | Evilness Score (out of 10) | Comments from Dr. DOMS |
|---|---|---|
| Pallof Press | 1/10 | “They’re just standing there… BORING!” |
| DB Side Bend | 2/10 | “Meh. A mild tickle for the obliques.” |
| DB Step Up | 4/10 | “At least they might trip… small win.” |
| DB Lateral Raise | 1/10 | “Disappointingly elegant.” |
| Star Toe Touch | 0/10 | “Yoga nonsense! Blasphemy!” |
| Total Evilness | 8/50 | “Truly pathetic. My minions weep.” |
🦹 Dr. DOMS:
sniff This table disgusts me. The evilness is so low it could pass for a kitten tea party.
🎤 Coach Paul:
And that’s exactly why it works. Our athletes leave with strong cores, stable shoulders, and improved balance — ready to crush the next heavy day or high-skill WOD.
🦹 Dr. DOMS:
storms away, muttering Fine… I’ll be in my lair designing a thousand-rep Bulgarian split squat gauntlet. You win this time, Paul!
🎤 Coach Paul:
See you Friday, team! Let’s build bulletproof movement patterns and keep Dr. DOMS crying in his dungeon.
💥 Join the Correctional Exercise Medley!
Move better, recover smarter, and show Dr. DOMS he has no place in your glutes or obliques this week.