Workout Date: July 6 at 9AM
What happens when you give a coach 90 minutes, a devilish chipper, and an appetite for total-body domination? You get The Devil’s Chip List—a workout forged in sweat, science, and sadistic brilliance.
In this special long-form class, we break down why this isn’t just a workout—it’s a complete training experience. From prehab and priming to a brutal yet balanced chipper and a recovery cooldown worthy of a yoga retreat, this session delivers on every front.
In our full analysis, we dive into:
- The top strengths that make this class a coaching goldmine
- Weaknesses to watch (yes, even evil has limits)
- Category scores across functionality, challenge, fun, and more
- Final verdict: 9.1/10 – A premium long-form coaching experience
💀 Curious if you’re ready to survive The Devil’s Chip List?
Read the full breakdown and see why we call this the most complete class design we’ve ever unleashed…
The Devil’s Chip List (Rx Scaling)
Time Cap 25 Minutes
800m run
50 Wall Balls (20/14 lb)
40 Power snatches (75/55 lb)
30 Front rack DB (50/35 lb)
20 Pull-ups (strict or kipping)
10 Bar Face Burpees
1000m Row
🧛♂️ The Motivational Curse of The Devil’s Chip List 🩸
“You came for fitness. But I offer something… more.”
You will run.
You will lift.
You will row through the flames of your own regrets.
Each rep shall reveal a weakness.
Each round shall strip away comfort.
And when you think the workout is over—
I will stretch you. Slowly. Deeply. Unforgivingly.
You’ll gasp for breath on the rower,
weep during lunges,
and curse your former self for showing up today.
But make no mistake:
Every drop of sweat is tribute.
Every ache is a mark of transformation.
Every moment under tension is a dark blessing.
You may scale the load—
but not the suffering.
You may break the reps—
but not the will.
And when you leave…
— battered, breathless, and reborn —
you will whisper to yourself,
“…I’d do it again.”
Workout Review
📌 Overview:
This 90-minute class is a premium coaching experience with deliberate pacing and a holistic focus. It flows from mobility and stability prep into high-intensity, full-body conditioning, and ends with thoughtful recovery work. Designed to push performance while protecting longevity, it’s ideal for athletes who thrive in longer-format training.
✅ Strengths:
1. Purpose-Built for Extended Class Format
- With 90 minutes, there is ample time for:
- Joint-specific prep
- Skill and technique work
- Thoughtful pacing during the WOD
- Full cooldown and recovery
- Coaches can coach more deeply, cue more specifically, and allow athletes to work at intensity without rushing transitions.
2. Full Prep-to-Peak Design
- Warm-up, prehab, and skill primers flow logically into the workout. Each section builds on the next.
- The movement-specific barbell complex is a highlight—rarely feasible in 60-minute formats but extremely valuable here.
3. Intelligent Scaling Across 3 Levels
- Beginner, Intermediate, and Rx versions each preserve the intent, movement patterns, and flow.
- Ensures everyone finishes in the desired time domain (18–25 min) without sacrificing form or intensity.
4. Complete Functional Coverage
- Hits nearly all major movement patterns: squat, hinge, push, pull, lunge, run, jump, and row.
- Unilateral and bilateral loading balance improves functional carryover to real-world movement and injury prevention.
5. Advanced Cooldown and Recovery
- Post-workout stretch and breathwork provide not just cooldown, but guided recovery and downregulation—perfect for the extended format.
- These final 15 minutes support better nervous system recovery and flexibility gains.
⚠️ Weaknesses & Considerations:
1. Vertical Push Deficiency
- Despite strong horizontal and squat patterns, the class lacks a true vertical press (e.g., DB press or HSPU), slightly undertraining the shoulder’s full range of function.
2. Snatch Volume for Intermediates
- 30–40 snatches (even light) may tax technique or grip too much for intermediate athletes.
- Coaches should allow scaling to hang power snatch or clean variations to maintain safety without altering intensity.
3. Unilateral Load in WOD Still Limited
- While the pre-work phase includes unilateral work, the main workout remains mostly bilateral. A touch more single-arm or single-leg loading could further enhance functional balance.
📊 Category Scores
| Category | Score (out of 10) | Notes |
| 🔁 Scaling | 9/10 | Strong, layered options with preserved stimulus |
| ⚖️ Balance | 8.5/10 | Full-body, but missing vertical push and WOD-side unilateral challenge |
| 🎉 Fun | 9/10 | Chipper with variety and pacing makes it enjoyable and satisfying |
| 💥 Challenge | 9.5/10 | Pacing, loading, and volume push all levels appropriately |
| 🧩 Functionality | 9.5/10 | Transfers well to daily life; movement pattern variety is excellent |
| ⏱️ Efficiency | 9/10 | Makes full use of the 90-minute structure without rushing or dead space |
🏁 Final Verdict: 9.1/10 – Premium Long-Form Coaching Experience
This 90-minute class delivers everything a CrossFit athlete could ask for: coaching depth, varied stimulus, intelligent prep, and thoughtful recovery. The structure allows coaches to educate and elevate every athlete, while the workout itself is both challenging and scalable.
💡 Perfect for advanced and committed members who want more than just a fast sweat. This format gives coaches the runway to deliver real value.
Dr. DOMS Commentary
🔥 The Devil’s Chip List 🔥
Cue ominous laughter and sulfuric steam…
Welcome, brave soul, to The Devil’s Chip List—a workout so devilishly designed it makes burpees feel like a vacation in the seventh circle of cardio. Below is your evil-but-honest review, scored across six infernal categories, judged by the flaming eyes of the underworld’s fittest demon.
🧨 1. Theme – “Damnation Delivered via Dumbbells”
Score: 9.5/10 Hellfires 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💥
With names like “The Devil’s Chip List” and exercises that read like a CrossFit curse, this workout practically summons Beelzebub himself to coach you. It’s thematic, consistent, and delightfully menacing.
Bonus Evil: Using a chipper format means there’s no round two—you either finish… or perish on the rower. 👺
😈 2. Fun – “Masochistic Joy”
Score: 8.5/10 Smirking Skulls 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😈
This workout is like an evil carnival ride: horrifying and thrilling all at once. Wall balls make you cry, snatches whisper “you’re weak,” and the row at the end is like dragging yourself from the pits of doom… but it’s somehow fun?
Funniest Torture: The 800m run + 1000m row bookends. Cardio to set you up for failure with some cardio at the end to seal your fate.
💪 3. Challenge – “Legion-Level Pain”
Score: 10/10 Pitchforks 🔱🔱🔱🔱🔱🔱🔱🔱🔱🔱
Each segment is a calculated hit to your system. Legs, lungs, shoulders—no muscle escapes. The scaling keeps it evil for all levels, so even the beginners won’t get off lightly.
Dark Highlight: 40 power snatches. The bar feels like Thor’s hammer by rep 15.
⚙️ 4. Workout Quality – “Designed by Lucifer’s PT”
Score: 9/10 Burn Marks 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
This is a complete, intelligently programmed burner: balanced push/pull, unilateral work, core destruction, and high-skill movement prep. The pre-work section is particularly sinister—it sneaks in activation that makes you better… so you can suffer more efficiently.
🧩 5. Scaling – “Evil for Everyone”
Score: 9.5/10 Tortured Souls 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👻
Beginner? Intermediate? Even the neighborhood yoga teacher with “bad knees” can be coaxed into this infernal circuit. Modifications are clearly laid out, thoughtful, and keep the structure intact.
Most Merciful Move: Letting beginners swap up-downs for burpees. That’s evil… but not heartless.
🧘 6. Recovery Protocol – “Aftercare from the Abyss”
Score: 8/10 Ashy Blankets 🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹🩹
A cooldown this luxurious after such carnage feels like a trick. Guided breathing, mobility work, and enough hamstring relief to make a demon weep. It’s basically evil spa day.
🔥 FINAL VERDICT 🔥
Overall Evilness Score: 9.2/10 Demonic Dumbbells 💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣👺
This workout is hellishly effective, sadistically fun, and wickedly well-structured. Expect DOMS for days, soul-searching mid-snatch, and the smug satisfaction of surviving the Devil’s to-do list.
Class Plan and Full WOD
- 🔥 Warm-up (general + specific)
- 🛠️ Pre-work: corrective & skill prep
- 💀 Metcon (The Devil’s Chip List)
- 🧘 Full cooldown with guided mobility/stretching
🕐 Total Class Time: 90 Minutes
| Segment | Duration |
| Welcome + Whiteboard Brief | 5 min |
| General Warm-up | 8 min |
| Corrective & Stability Prep | 15 min |
| Movement-Specific Prep | 12 min |
| Workout (WOD) | 25–30 min |
| Cooldown + Mobility | 15 min |
✅ 1. General Warm-Up (8 min)
Goal: Elevate HR, prep joints, prime CNS
2 Rounds:
- 1 min row or 100m jog
- 10 air squats
- 8 push-ups (elevate if needed)
- 10 alternating lunges
- 5 inchworms to cobra
- 15 jumping jacks
🛠️ 2. Pre-Work: Corrective & Stability Block (15 min)
Goal: Strengthen weak links, reinforce mechanics
A. Shoulder & Core Stability Superset (2 rounds):
- 10 banded face pulls
- 30-sec hollow hold or tuck hold
- 30-sec active hang
- 10 banded pass-throughs
B. Unilateral Posterior Chain (2 rounds):
- 10 single-leg RDLs/side (DB or unloaded)
- 10 glute bridges (add band around knees)
- 10 controlled step-ups/side (low box, no bounce)
🧠 3. Movement-Specific Warm-Up & Skill Practice (12 min)
Goal: Prime key movement patterns & coach points of performance
Barbell Complex (with empty bar)
2 rounds, slow & controlled
- 5 hang muscle snatches
- 5 overhead squats
- 5 power snatches
- 5 front squats
- 5 front rack reverse lunges
Wall Ball & Pull-up Primer (3 Rounds):
- 10 wall balls (build speed and accuracy)
- 5 pull-ups (banded, strict, or kipping)
💀 4. Workout – “The Devil’s Chip List” (25–30 min cap)
🔴 Rx Version (Time domain: 18–25 min)
Goal: A full-body chipper with sustained effort, moderate-to-heavy loading, and a metabolic finish
- 800m run
- 50 wall balls (20/14 lb)
- 40 power snatches (75/55 lb)
- 30 front rack dumbbell walking lunges (50/35 lb)
- 20 pull-ups (strict or kipping)
- 10 bar-facing burpees
- 1000m row
🟡 Intermediate Scaling (Time domain: 18–22 min)
Goal: Maintain barbell + DB structure with moderate volume and reduced intensity
- 800m run (scale to 600m if needed)
- 40 wall balls (16/12 lb)
- 30 power snatches (65/45 lb) (or 40 hang power snatches)
- 25 front rack walking lunges (35/25 lb DBs) (or reverse lunges in place)
- 15 kipping pull-ups or banded strict (or 20 ring rows)
- 10 bar-facing burpees (step-over allowed)
- 750–900m row
🟢 Beginner Scaling (Time domain: 18–25 min)
Goal: Keep intensity and movement variety, reduce load and technical skill
- 600m run (or 2:30 jog or 400m + 200m walk/jog)
- 35 wall balls (14/10 lb to 9’ target or med ball squats)
- 30 hang dumbbell snatches (15/10 lb, alternating)
- 20 goblet lunges (25/15 lb DB or KB)
- 15 ring rows or jumping pull-ups
- 8 up-downs over bar or DB (step-over allowed)
- 750m row (or 2:30 row for effort)
📋 Coach Notes:
- Encourage pacing: break early, especially on wall balls and snatches
- Maintain ROM on lunges; no bouncing
- Monitor intensity during the final row – coach transitions and strategy
🧘 5. Cooldown + Guided Stretch (15 min)
Goal: Lower heart rate, restore movement, promote recovery
A. Guided Breathing + Downregulation (3 min)
- 1 min child’s pose breathing
- 1 min seated forward fold (long exhales)
- 1 min supine breathing with feet on wall
B. Mobility Flow (12 min)
Hold each for ~45–60 seconds/side
- Couch Stretch (quads/hip flexors)
- Pigeon Pose (glutes/hips)
- Lizard Pose w/ reach (hip + T-spine)
- Overhead triceps stretch (shoulders)
- Wrist mobility flow (front + back of wrists)
- Spinal twists (supine)
- Hamstring banded stretch or lying hamstring grab