Workout Date: June 29, 2025
Think you’ve got what it takes to handle the heat? 🏋️♂️💀
This 12-minute AMRAP is loaded with power snatches, bar-facing burpees, and wall balls—the unholy trinity of CrossFit suffering.
We asked Dr. DOMS himself to analyze the workout… and let’s just say, he’s very pleased with your upcoming misery. 😈
➡️ Check out the full villainous breakdown, pacing tips, and mobility guide
➡️ Come prepared or be prepared to cry mid-burpee
📲 Read the evil analysis now.
Dr. DOMS’s Evil Analysis of “Snatch and Burn”
(Because what’s more evil than wall balls after burpees?)
🧠 Total Prep Flow: 15–18 Minutes of Foolish Hope
Ah yes, the General Warm-Up. You think this will save you? Jump rope? Air squats? Mwahaha! These are merely appetizers before the soul-roasting begins. PVC Overhead Squats and Ankle Rocks? Classic. You’ll mobilize your joints just enough to delude yourself into thinking you’re ready. Spoiler alert: you’re not.
Evil Rating: 🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️ (4 out of 5 Minions of Misery)
🔧 Skill Work / Movement Prep: Deviously Deceptive
- Power Snatch Progression: Empty barbell reps to lull you into a false sense of control. “Fast elbows,” they say. “Tight back,” they say. And then BAM — bar over head, ego on the floor.
- Burpee Efficiency: Nothing says “evil” like burpee speed drills. Let’s test your lungs before the real fun begins. Also, rhythm? You’ll be wheezing too hard to find rhythm.
- Wall Ball Warm-Up: Oh, a warm-up for the most villainous movement in CrossFit. A few slow reps to bait you into going “unbroken” during the WOD. Foolish mortal.
Evil Rating: 🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️ (5 out of 5—this is textbook pre-trauma conditioning)
🔥 WOD: “Snatch & Burn”
Five – Three Minute Rounds
- 6 Power Snatches (95/65) (scale: DB snatches 50/35)
- 9 Burpees Over Bar
- 12 Wall Balls (20/14)
- Rest in Remining Time
Ohhhh yes. A spicy little triplet that starts like a workout and ends like a trap. The snatches? Manageable… until round four when your shoulders whisper, “please no more.”
The burpees? Just sadistic. No escape. Bar-facing adds that extra flair of coordination—and despair.
The wall balls? Ah, the evil cherry on top. Just enough reps to crush your soul, not enough to justify breaking them up—so you don’t… until you must.
Pacing strategy? Bahaha. You’ll plan it… and then abandon it by minute six.
Evil Rating: 🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️🦹♂️ + a hairless cat 😼
(Translation: Diabolical. Chef’s kiss.)
Recovery Mobility: Or the Part Where You Weep Silently
You’ll pretend to stretch, but you’ll really just lie there, contemplating your life choices.
- Pigeon Pose? More like “Pigeon PTSD.”
- Lizard Stretch? How about “Wounded Iguana?”
- Wall Pec Stretch? Because you hugged the wall during wall balls, and now you’re traumatized.
Evil Rating: 🦹♂️🦹♂️ (2/5 — not evil, but it’s where your tears go)
Final Grade: A+ in Evil Programming
A snatchy, burpee-fueled, wall-ball bonanza wrapped in mobility deceit and sprinkled with skill work to prime the suffering. This WOD doesn’t just test your fitness—it extracts it and feeds it to my cat.
Verdict: One million calories burned… or close enough. Mwahahaha.